Broken Silence Read online

  “I sort of invited all of your friends and their families too.” She said with a sheepish smile. In return I just walked over and gave her a huge hug. It meant so much to me that she cared enough to do this for me.

  The drive to the mountains took about three hours. As we got closer to our destination, snow had started to fall steadily. It made me nervous, but our procession of cars made it just fine.

  When Sophia said house, I pictured a cozy cabin in the snow. This was not a house, it was a lodge. It was made of huge gray stones and chunky wooden trim. It had a rustic effect that made it even more breathtaking. The mountain view behind the house was the icing on the cake. It may have just taken the number one spot on my list of favorite views.

  As we all spilled out of our cars the front door opened, and an older couple stepped out. The man had silver hair, but a younger look. He didn’t look old enough to be Sophia’s dad. He was dressed in a sweater and slacks and looked like he fit right in this huge stone mansion. The woman had darker hair pulled up into a curly ponytail. She had a sophisticated air about her too, but a kindness to her features. I could see the resemblance between her and Sophia.

  Sophia grabbed my arm and led me up the stairs to greet them. I held my head high and tried to pretend it was no big deal. My anxiety was just below the surface, but I wanted to give them a chance. I had met plenty of my foster family’s parents before, but there was a clear separation between their behavior to me and their behavior to my foster siblings. I put on my friendliest smile anyway.

  “I am so happy to finally meet my granddaughter! I’m so glad you are ok. We were so worried.” The woman rushed at me and gave me a bone crushing hug. This woman was clearly a superhero in disguise; she was a lot stronger then she seemed. When she stepped away the man pulled me into a more gentle hug. He smelled like peppermint and a hint of cologne. It was what I would expect a fairy tale grandfather to smell like. I relaxed into his hug.

  I turned to Sophia, who was beaming. They both rushed at her next and they all three embraced. It was sweet. They pulled away and ushered us all inside.

  “Come in, out of that awful cold!” The woman raised the volume of her voice so everyone could hear her. We were quite the group. Without hesitation the twins ran off inside, causing us all to laugh.

  Once we were all inside, along with the luggage, Sophia directed us to our rooms. She placed my group of friends in a room to share, across from hers so she could keep an eye on us. Then she distributed the rooms to the other families and their other kids. The twins were the youngest, and Abby had a little sister that was nine. The other siblings were older and didn’t want to come, even if we were about to spend Christmas in the mountains.

  Our room was clearly not for adults. It had three sets of wooden bunk beds and two twin beds. The room was huge, and had a bathroom attached. The décor fit the theme of the mountain lodge, consisting of pictures of forests and woodsy pieces.

  “I claim top bunk!” Trent yelled as he did an impressive high jump, pulling himself up to sit on his bed. Adam threw his bag underneath. Abby and Alice both threw their bags on a bottom bunk, leaving the twin beds for me and Cole.

  “Would it be inappropriate to ask you to sleep in my bed with me?” Cole whispered in my ear as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I twisted around so I was facing him. I gave him a soft kiss and a shrug. He chuckled and threw my luggage next to his.

  After a few minutes we were called down to dinner. The spread was crazy. They made a huge baked pasta dish, broccoli, salad with tons of toppings and two kinds of bread. Their table was made for a crowd, and easily sat all of us once a few extra chairs were added.

  Trent and Adam didn’t waste time, piling their plates high. The rest of the guests followed suit. I was thankful Cole claimed the seat next to me, since my new grandparents sat across from me. I was afraid they wouldn’t accept me not talking. It was like Cole had a radar for my anxiety. He reached his hand over and rested it on my knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. I smiled at him to reassure him that I was doing alright.

  “Charlie, I did a terrible job introducing my parents. This is Maria and this is Robert.” Sophia introduced them. She was clearly trying to break the silence. They were wonderful though, I couldn’t help but like them and that scared me. I tried so hard to get over my abandonment issues, but even if they didn’t I would turn eighteen at the end of next school year and they wouldn’t be a part of my life anymore. I knew how it worked when you aged out of the system.

  They talked to me through the meal. Explaining everything from Sophia growing up, to how proud they were of her being a lawyer, to how much they missed her husband, to their jobs. Her dad was a doctor and refused to retire. He worked at a pediatric clinic and loved it. She was a nurse in the same practice. They were one of those couples that just make your heart want to burst. They were sweet to each other and the way he looked at her like she was perfect, had me smiling.

  We were all finished when Maria started to stand up and clear the table. Sophia stopped her with a gentle hand and motioned for her to sit. Sophia stood up and clutched a small stack of papers to her chest.

  “I wanted to thank my parents for their generosity in letting us all enjoy the holidays here. After the awful last few months we had, Charlie and I needed some fun time with family and friends. I will try not to babble, but I have an announcement to make, though the outcome depends on Charlie.” She turned to me and I just returned a look of pure confusion. I was hoping she wasn’t going to ask me to move somewhere.

  “Charlie, I have a court date set for us. Would it be ok if we went and finalized this?” She asked as she handed me the papers she had been clutching. I took them from her and read over the words. It was a copy of submitted court papers for my adoption. My mind had to read it three times before it sank in. She wanted to adopt me. Me. I just stood up and walked around the table to her, giving her a tight hug as tears fell. I was overwhelmed.

  “Is that a yes, Charlie?” Sophia joked. I pulled back and braced myself.

  “Yes. I love you, Sophia. You were already such a good mom to me. I would love it to be official.” I choked out as I started to cry harder. I looked around the table and I realized everyone had their mouths hanging open. I gave my friends a sheepish smile. They probably didn’t realize I could talk at all at this point. The only one who was smiling and not shocked, was obviously Cole.

  “I thought you couldn’t talk?” Alice asked, causing Adam and Abby to groan. I guess they thought it was inappropriate to ask, and leave it to Alice to be the one.

  “I guess I should probably explain a little about my past so it makes sense.” I started and Sophia started to stop me. “I won’t go into the awful details of most of it.” I reassured her with a meaningful look at the twins. I knew it wasn’t something they should hear.

  “A little over two and a half years ago, I had some pretty severe damage to my vocal chords and esophagus. It caused permanent damage, hence the raspy quality to my voice. I wasn’t able to talk for weeks while it recovered due to the pain. When I was released, I didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with everything and that’s why I didn’t talk. It won’t ever sound the same as before and it bothers me if I talk for long periods of time, but I can talk.” I explained, then promptly sat down. There was a mixture of horrified looks and pity. I chose to look at my friends who all just looked like it was no big deal. Cole gave me a squeeze.

  “Well that’s enough excitement for mealtime, how about dessert?” Maria asked, giving me a quick wink. I gave her a grateful smile. I stood to help collect dishes and my friends all joined in. We piled them on the counter in the nearby kitchen and helped Maria carry in platters of cupcakes. “Baking is a hobby of mine, so I hope you all like to eat.” Maria joked as she passed cupcakes to anyone who was interested. I was all over the chocolate cupcakes, I didn’t need encouragement.

  After dinner I went in to start dishes, Sophia quickly joined me along with Maria. It was actually
nice. We worked in companionable silence for a while, focused on our work. Eventually Maria couldn’t stand the quiet and turned on a radio. I just laughed as Sophia and Maria danced around putting dishes away and wiping down the counters. I felt a huge crack in the shield I built around myself. I was content here. I felt for the first time in way too long, that I was surrounded by family. I was starting to feel happy.

  When we were done I went upstairs to find my friends again. They had pushed the bed out of the way and had a double game of Twister going.

  “Come on Charlie! It’s not too late!” Abby yelled, from her position of being tangled around Adam and Trent. Cole called out another instruction and Adam collapsed. I just sat next to Cole and watched my friends enjoy the game. “Have you played before?” Abby asked, clearly still trying to get me to join. I shook my head no and she looked appalled. “Alright, rematch after this with Charlie joining!” She announced.

  “I don’t think you have a choice, Charlie girl.” Cole joked.

  “Alice is joining, too!” Trent demanded, causing Alice to look up from her book at him. She rolled her eyes and went right back to reading, dismissing his idea.

  “I’ll join if Cole does.” I teased. I gave him a shoulder bump and he smiled.

  “Only for you.” He said, before announcing the next color.

  “Wait, Cole is going to join? It’s official, Charlie changes the rules.” Adam joked and Cole threw a pillow at him.

  “Cole never plays, he’s to broody.” Abby joked. I gave a shrug. I did change the rules, he liked trying new things with me.

  Abby won two turns later, doing a victory dance in the middle of the mats. Trent gave her a fake worshipping bow and I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Have I ever told you how much I love that smile and laugh?” Cole said with a sweet smile. I gave him a shy grin and he threaded his fingers through mine.

  “Rematch time!” Abby announced, as Adam took over the spinner. Two spins in and I was already thankful I was at least a little flexible. It was harder then it looks. My stomach was still a bit tender from the last of my cuts healing. I dropped a few turns later when I couldn’t stand the stretch to the next available circle. I sat next to Adam and watched the others.

  Cole was actually impressive, he had a gracefulness in the way he moved, which worked in his favor for this game. Soon it was down to him and Abby.

  “I bet Cole wins.” Adam said with a grin. I raised my brows in disbelief. He was flexible but I saw how she won the last game. “Give him some credit, he used to dance.” My mouth dropped open in shock. I could not picture Cole as a dancer. He had that whole dark and brooding, heavy metal type of look.

  “No!” Abby shouted as she collapsed on the mat. Cole stood up and held out a hand to help Abby off of the mat. “I should have known!” She yelled in fake indignation as she gave him a playful shove. We were interrupted by a knock on the door.

  “Hot chocolate delivery!” Sophia announced, carrying a try filled with a kettle, cups and spoons, and some hot cocoa mix. Adam, always the gentleman, jumped up to help carry it over.

  “How are you doing, sweetie? I hope I didn’t overstep asking that over dinner?” She looked worried.

  “I’m fantastic, Sophia. Maybe we can sit down with your parents and get to know each other a bit better sometime while we’re here?” I offered. She smiled as her eyes filled with tears.

  “I would love that. Goodnight, guys.” She said to the others and left the room. Neither of us were very good at the emotional side of life. I guess we were a good match.

  “Scary stories?” Trent suggested with a fake creepy voice.

  “Not a chance.” Alice vetoed quickly.

  “Movie?” Abby offered. It was met with a few mumbles and noncommittal shrugs.

  “Actually, I wanted to talk to you guys before bed, if that’s ok?” I asked tentatively. I wasn’t brave enough to look up yet.

  “It’s so weird to hear you talk.” Trent said with a small laugh.

  “Go ahead, Charlie. What’s wrong?” Alice surprised me, she wasn’t usually the type to show concern. I smiled in reassurance.

  “Nothing is wrong. I wanted to finally tell you guys about my past. Now seems like a good time. After all you’ve been through with me, you deserve to know.” I said softly. The hot chocolate worked out perfectly, keeping my voice from getting hard to understand.

  “You can share if you are ready. Don’t feel like you owe us though, friends are there for you, regardless of what we know about your past.” Abby spoke up as she walked over, sitting next to me. The others formed a circle around me, knee to knee.

  “I want to.” I said, as she took my hand and Cole rested his hand on my knee. They were offering me support in their own ways.

  “Two years ago, a friend encouraged me to go to a party. It wasn’t something my parents were ok with, so I snuck out. While I was gone, two men broke into my house. I had snuck back in and noticed someone had been in my room. I thought I was busted and almost walked downstairs, but heard what was going on. They had my parents downstairs and I called 911. I hid in the closet, waiting for help to arrive. After some shouting I heard three gunshots. I managed to not scream, but one of the men came back up to search for me again. They knew my family and didn’t like that I was missing. He dragged me out of the closet and when I struggled he used his fist and the back of the gun to hit me on my throat. The other guy yelled that the police were almost here and he shot me over his shoulder. His aim was off and I didn’t get hit like he hoped.” I raised my shirt to show the small scar on my side. They all had serious faces, but didn’t look freaked out beyond saving yet. I took a deep breath and a drink of my cocoa.

  “I ran downstairs as soon as I heard the front door. I found my parents and my brother dead, hunched over and tied to chairs. I screamed and couldn’t stop. The cops tried to calm me down and lead me away, but I wouldn’t listen. I can still picture it. That’s why I have nightmares, I have to relive that scene almost every night. Meeting you guys was the first time I started to get a break from them. Until the attempted kidnapping and eventual kidnapping.” I finished the first part of my story with deep breaths, I was trying so hard not to sob. The pressure of Cole and Abby holding my hands helped ground me.

  “I’m so sorry.” Adam whispered, his voice choked with emotion. I looked up over at Alice and she had tears running down her cheeks.

  “Did they find out who it was?” Trent asked.

  “No, remember they reopened the case recently.” Abby reminded him.

  “I knew who it was, they said it was a job. The police wrote it off as a traumatized kid not remembering details correctly. A man found me a year later, but when he found out I couldn’t talk he left me alone. He said if I told anyone or tried to talk again he would kill me, so I didn’t tell and I didn’t talk. At that point I had bounced around from a bunch of foster homes in town. My friends abandoned me and everyone in school forgot about it. I eventually went from someone they felt sorry for, to a freak. My best friend decided me not talking was to much for her. She knew the doctor said I could talk, but I refused. Once it healed I sounded like a different person. I wouldn’t talk because I couldn’t bring myself to. I was embarrassed by the way I sounded. Plus I lived and they didn’t. Talking meant I would have to answer questions and try and live my life. I just couldn’t do it. I thought about giving up a lot in that year. I didn’t want to live without them, live with that pain. It was probably survivors guilt, but it was unbearable. I couldn’t do it though, knowing my mom would be so mad at me for even thinking it.” I confessed, ashamed.

  “Don’t be embarrassed, I don’t think anyone would blame you for dark thoughts in that situation. We won’t judge you, babe. I’m thankful you didn’t.” Cole said in a low voice.

  “I struggled so much with that survivors guilt. If I had been home, I wouldn’t be here. I managed to turn off all emotions as a coping mechanism about three months in. I was done crying and feeling
. It was just too much. I turned into a human zombie, for lack of a better word. I did the motions, but it wasn’t really living. I was too much to handle for most foster homes, with the gossip and my screaming nightmares every night. So I went from a normal life to one where nobody wanted me. The fact you guys wanted me when I got here, that was big.” I met each one of their eyes, giving them an appreciative look. I wanted them to realize just what it meant to me.

  “Misfits stick together, we recognized one of our own.” Trent teased, always trying to lighten the mood.

  “The people who kidnapped you, were they part of all of this?” Alice asked. I nodded.

  “I don’t know what all you guys know. My dad worked for a company and found out that they weren’t doing ethical practices. He found out the boss funneled money into a different organization. They killed him for it. When they found out someone else was involved, they killed them too. It was by luck that they found the link in the cases and reopened my families case. I found the evidence in my dad’s office supplies. The police assumed it was a robbery gone bad, so it wasn’t properly searched. When the police questioned the boss, they realized I was a threat. Hence the attempted kidnapping and eventual kidnapping.” Cole looked like he wanted to interrupt but didn’t want to stop me from talking. I looked over and he gave a sheepish smile.